NOT Left or Right, Seriously NOT ALP, LIB or Green. Just a Punter... more

09 Nov 2018

Nick Off DudeBro! I am not wasting time on you, just choose a response from the below…

Social Media:   
Graphic 'Common Causes of Rape' stolen from Animal @grottyscotty and please note this graphic not only applies to rape, basically any form of assault on a female!

OK, I don’t know about you, but I am sick to death of entitled people who feel they need to tell me exactly how wrong I am, all the time, in relation to women’s issues in particular. The weird thing is, the wonderful way they seem to like to mansplain to me and edumacate me on why I am wrong and need to see things differently. I know I am not alone.

Please I need your help to make this a definitive list.

These blokes – and to be fair sometimes women – are so bloody entitled they always seem to expect a response from you and I have to admit, too often I bite, which to be quite frank, is just a waste of my time and life. I don’t like to block these odious types as too often they find it a source of pride and I aint going to give them that. Often I will mute, as hey, I do sometimes get my jollies out of knowing they are still screaming into the void when I have moved on to better things to do with my life.

I thought I would save myself some time by compiling a heap of standard responses they can just choose for themselves.

A handy guide to responding to dudebro’s:

  • Yes Yes! NOT ALL MEN are aresholes.

  • We know that, Twitter is short form communication. IF YOU ARE NOT AN ARSEHOLE what I was saying does not apply to you, so wake up to yourself.

  • NEVER EVER – and I cannot emphasise this one enough – EVER! Ask “Why didn’t she report the sexual assault or harassment?” A. It is none of your fracking business and B. If you are asking that you have not been paying attention.

  • IF a woman chooses not to report her sexual harassment or assault that is HER CHOICE, not yours, not anyone elses, she has NO obligation to a higher theory, just a need to look after own health and future.

  • As per the above: NEVER EVER TELL ANOTHER WOMAN’S STORY!

  • NEVER tell a woman how she should feel about being assaulted.

  • NEVER tell a woman how she should respond to be being assaulted.

  • It is extremely RARE for a woman to lie about being assaulted.

  • A woman complaining about a man or injustice against a man is NOT HATING ALL MEN, if you feel attacked by those comments, maybe have a good look at yourself.

  • A woman is not obligated to bend over backwards just because you may think you are a 'good bloke' and helped that one woman that one time, it just means you are DECENT HUMAN BEING, if you need praise to behave decently, again, take a good hard look at yourself!

  • Being drunk is not an excuse for sexually assaulting someone, EVER!

  • This is my twitter account, I do NOT have to interact or respond to you if I don’t wish to.

  • How a woman dressed, where she was or how much she was or wasn’t drinking is IRRELEVENT to her being sexually assaulted or harassed, ALWAYS!

  • If you think men or teenagers wolf whistling, cat-calling, tapping a woman on the butt etc etc is just ‘Boys being Boys’ or ‘Just good fun’ you are WRONG! You are either a sexual predator or raising one.

  • Disrespectful gendered language like ‘Bitch, Cow, Slag, Hysterical” etc etc is NOT “just jokes”, it is being “sexist” or if taken further “misogynistic”.

  • If a woman does not want to talk to you, walk away. WE HAVE NO OBLIGATION to be nice to you or stoke your ego.

  • There is no such thing as getting carried away sexually, it is called RAPE!

  • NO MEANS NO! There are no loopholes, there are no excuses, EVER!

  • IF a woman is incapacitated and has no ability to say “No”, then the answer is “NO”, taking advantage sexually of a woman who can’t give consent is RAPE!

  • You don’t need to explain Feminism to me.

  • Don't make excuses for bad male behaviour! EVER!

  • White Male Privilege IS A THING!

  • Women, talking about something that matters to them, like sexual assault, domestic violence, harassment etc. IS EMOTIONAL and they don't give a rats arse about your male 'facts' or 'bar room law' so if you have nothing supportive to say then just SHUT THE FRACK UP!

  • Women also swear or will respond to your mansplaining with rude gestures, GET OVER IT!

  • Contrary to ex PM Tony Abbott, just because you have a wife/ girlfriend/ sister/ mother/ partner does NOT make you a feminist nor does it mean you will EVER full understand what a woman goes through! Though pro-tip, maybe shut up, give those women in your life some space and listen to them, you might learn something!

  • NEVER touch a woman anywhere uninvited!

  • We really don't care what your pet peeve in and jumping in on a conversation to try to confuse or monopolise the conversation just makes you a self-obsessed dickhead, not smart FYI!

  • If someone has 'empathy' for a woman's experience and demands better behaviour it does not make them a "LEFTY" it just makes them a DECENT HUMAN BEING!

  • Same as someone who supports Women having the same right to be just as mediocre as a man in power, that does NOT make them a "FEMINAZI" it also just makes them a 'Decent Human Being'!

  • If you mansplain to a woman and she gets cranky in her response with a spelling or grammar error, you picking that up as a 'response' does not make you 'Intelligent', it just makes you a pedantic dickhead and you deserve whatever CAPSLOCK response you get in return.

  • If you see a woman being harrassed or assaulted and just walk by, you are a grub. Note: Taking action may not mean physical, it may just mean tea & sympathy, the woman has a choice on how she responds, your support will matter, regardless of the manner of that support SHE WANTS.

  • It is perfectly appropriate for a woman to decide she can't be bothered articulating a response to you and to use a handy gif instead, see exhibit A below!

  • Plus plus plus…

I have many more that can be added but am seriously still livid at the moment as let’s face it, even with #MeToo being a thing this year, 2018 has been an utterly shitfull year for women. If they are not KILLING US - (60 dead women as at 4.15pm today 9th of November 2018) - they are trying to strangle us, stopping us from advancing in workplaces, terrorising us at home, belittling us, outing us when we don't want to tell our assault stories, not taking us seriously and more...

Oh and all you men out there who are really respectful, supportive of women and basically give a shit about the way we are treated? Thank you! may your influence multiply 😉

Think about this. I’m a pretty bog standard boring middle aged married white woman living in the regions and I am fed up. I cannot begin to imagine what it is like for Women of Colour, Single Mothers, LGBTIQ or any woman with a disability. My heart bleeds for you as the shit you must receive online and in real life has got to be on steroids. If I can any way assist, even if it is just moral support, always give me a yell.

Any how, I will keep adding to this handy list of copy and paste quotes as the situation arises, of course, please feel free to contact me on Twitter or in the comments below with suggestions and I will add them too.

Hope this list helps, I know I felt better just thumping it out on the keyboard 😉
Cheers,
Noely
PS. This came about from many tweets I get from my Sunday #BallsOnly Sports splashes where I note if any #WomenInSport pieces are mentioned and other random tweets I may have made over time, but today, blokes defending David Elliott the grub in NSW Parliament who – as a Minister mind you – threw Ashleigh Raper under the bus publicly, against her wishes and still holds his bloody job, even though he is only a bees dick off being just as odious as Luke Foley who has already resigned, note kicking and screaming, really pushed me over the edge.
 

Excellent suggestions coming in so far:

This suggestion below is just sensational, coming from a similar experience as to what prompted this rant of mine. Honestly, guys, some decent men, like Bill here are trying to give you advice too, TAKE IT!
  “That’s a matter for you” - Thomas Nguyen@ThomasHNguyen
  "I stand by what I said" works surprisingly well. I've never had a reply to that. - Out damned Scott!  @anne_twain
  Lack of agency is where this all begins. The difficult concept for men to grasp, is that women do not belong to them. - ...  @FootyRed1
 
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